Pillar 06: Spiritual Habits
There is a question that we should ask ourselves when you or I want to know what we actually believe versus what we say we believe. And that question is, “what do my habits reveal and does that align with what I say?”
Anyone can say faith is important to them. Anyone can identify as a spiritual person (or a Christian). Anyone can put a Bible verse in their Instagram bio or wear a cross around their neck. But the things you do, day after day, often when no one is watching, are the truest indication of what you believe.
And if I am being honest, this is the area where most of us (myself included at times) have the largest gap between what we profess versus how we live.
Most people I know would say that some form of spiritual life matters to them. Christians I know say it. People in my life who would more or less describe themselves as “spiritual but not religious” say it. Even some self-identified skeptics I know will admit that there is probably something to the idea that humans need more than just productivity hacks, knowledge, and entertainment to flourish.
But when you ask the deeper question about what their actual practices and disciplines look like, the picture gets muddy quite fast.
There are Christians who say Jesus is the most important thing in their lives, but who do not remember the last time they had a true devotion in the Word. There are the “spiritual but not religious” people who talk about pursuing a life with deeper meaning, but has not actually sat in silence for ten minutes because their thought life is too chaotic. And there is the skeptic who dismisses all of it but still feels a quiet ache they cannot name and tries to fill it with entertainment, scrolling, and the next dopamine hit.
The disconnect is not unique to one group. It is a feature of how most of us are living right now (or have lived during periods of our lives). We say we value depth, but we operate at the surface. We say we want meaning, but we never slow down long enough to find it. We say faith or spirituality is foundational, but we treat it as something we will get to later.
You’ve probably noticed that I have been using this statement of “your life is speaking” a lot in my writing and on my website. And what most people’s lives are saying about their spiritual practice is somewhere between “occasional” and “barely there at all.”
If that’s you, that gap is worth sitting with. Not to produce guilt, but clarity.
Three Readers, One Argument
I want to speak to three different people for a moment, because this post is for each of you.
To the Christian who has drifted: You know what you should be doing. You know prayer matters, you know reading Scripture matters, you know your church life matters. But your actual practice in these areas has become reactive and inconsistent rather than a rhythm of your life:
You pray only when something is wrong
You open your Bible only when you feel guilty
You attend church out of obligation or when there is a big event or service
The disconnect in the areas above between what you profess and what you practice may be bigger than you want to admit.
This is not a sign you have lost your faith, it is a sign you have disconnected your beliefs from your formation. Belief is what you affirm, but formation is what you become through repeated practice. And without the practices and habits, your beliefs become little more than a thin veil.
Jesus did not call his followers to just agree with His teachings. He called them to follow Him. And following someone is, by definition, a matter of practice, not just mental ascent to a set of doctrines or principles.
To the “spiritual but not religious” person: I respect the impulse. You sense there is more, and you are drawn to ideas of transcendence, mindfulness, and inner work. You may meditate occasionally, journal sometimes, read books about consciousness or self-improvement. The question you need to sit with is whether your spiritual life has any actual structure to it, or whether it is mostly aspiration that surfaces when it is convenient.
The practices that have stood the test of time are not the trendy ones. They are slow, repetitive, and ancient. They were developed and refined within religious traditions that were not afraid to make demands on the practitioner. The modern wellness industry has stripped many of these practices from their roots, repackaged them, and sold them back to people who want the benefits without the commitment. Sometimes that works for a while. But shallow versions of deep practices tend to drift with whatever cultural current is blowing.
To the skeptic: You think spiritual habits are a waste of time. Maybe a coping mechanism for people who cannot face reality without a crutch. I am not going to argue you out of that position in a blog post. But I will say this: across nearly every culture and century in recorded history, humans have cultivated some form of contemplative practice. The modern world has rediscovered fragments of these traditions through meditation apps, breathwork, and “mindfulness.” These are not new inventions. They are watered-down descendants of practices that religious traditions have been refining for thousands of years. That is at least worth examining honestly rather than dismissing.
The Connection of Spiritual Habits to the Rest of Life
After years of trying to live with intention across the seven pillars that are part of the framework at BFAP, I’ve learned that spiritual habits are not just one pillar among equals. Every other pillar eventually requires an answer to the “why” question.
Why am I working this hard at my career?
Why am I investing in these relationships?
Why am I taking care of my body?
Why am I being intentional with my finances?
Why am I pursuing growth and joy?
Because sooner or later, life will expose what the underlying foundation of your “why” actually is.
Loss, disappointment, aging, failure, and seasons where your effort does not produce the results you wanted. In those seasons, a foundation built on self-improvement, achievement, or success will eventually crack.
A spiritual foundation does not exempt you from suffering, pain, and hardship. It anchors you in the middle of it, and building a life of spiritual habits and practices grounds you to something eternal and transcendent. The opposite is true too, and without spiritual grounding, each other pillar quietly collapses inward on itself when it has nothing larger to point to.
What This Looks Like in My Life
I am a Christian, and I can say with confidence that Jesus is the reason I am where I am today. My faith is not a familial or cultural inheritance or a coping mechanism. It’s the foundation that remained firm when other foundations have failed me, and I would be lost without my relationship with Jesus. Everything else in BFAP is downstream of that.
I am not going to insist you share my faith for any of this to be useful to you. The principles that I’m outlining in BFAP work because they are true, not because they are mine. At the same time, I would not be honest if I pretended that my framework was neutral. It is not. From my perspective, the deepest version of intentional living is one that is anchored in something bigger than yourself, and for me, that anchor is the person and work of Jesus Christ.
Now onto what this practice of spiritual habits looks like in my life. I want to be careful here because I don’t want to prescribe a system or a life hack for mastering your spiritual habits. Your spiritual life is personal, and the worst thing I could do is turn this into a checklist that produces legalism and/or guilt instead of true formation.
I read or listen to Scripture nearly every day. For the past two years, I have done an audio Bible plan that takes me through the whole Bible in a year. I am also working through my church’s reading plan. Some days are richer than others. Some days I read and feel nothing. But for me, the consistency itself is the point. Showing up daily to be shaped by something (and Someone) outside of myself is not optional for me anymore. It is foundational.
Prayer is woven into my day rather than confined to a single time slot. Sometimes it is structured. Often it is not. It is more conversational than ceremonial. And to be honest, I’ve struggled with prayer in my life (and still struggle). It’s something that is hard for me to be consistent at. And that’s something that I’m personally trying to be more intentional at. I’m not trying to be perfect, I’m trying to be consistent and intentional.
I’ve been involved in church in various ways for years. I’ve walked alongside people in discipleship, led community groups, taught chapel at a recovery ministry, led kids groups, and served at the welcome desk, among many other things. My wife and I currently mentor couples preparing for marriage. The specific roles have shifted as we’ve moved to different churches, but the involvement has not.
When I drift from these practices, of Scripture reading, prayer, and church involvement, I notice it. Not always immediately, but eventually. My perspective narrows, my desire to serve wanes, and my “why” gets fuzzy. And then I come back to the practices, not because I have to, but because I cannot live well without them.
The Honest Call
Spiritual habits are not religious extras you add to a busy life when there is room. They are a foundation for the rest of your life.
For the Christian reading this: stop treating spiritual practice as legalism and start treating it as formation. You are not earning anything from God, you are being shaped by Him. The gap between what you profess and how you live is not a small thing. It is the difference between a faith that holds and a faith that fades.
For the spiritual-but-not-religious person: stop treating spirituality as a feeling and start treating it as a practice. Pick something ancient. Try it consistently for a season. See what happens when you stop drifting between trends and commit to something that has roots.
For the skeptic: you do not have to believe what I believe. But the contemplative impulse of spiritual practices is not a fringe thing. It is a human thing. And dismissing it without examining it honestly is not the open-minded position you might think it is.
Whatever camp you find yourself in, the question is the same: what does your actual practice say about what you actually value?
Because your life is speaking. And your spiritual life (or lack thereof), is the loudest part of the message.
